A positive pregnancy test is always an emotional roller coaster. Feelings of anxiety, shame, fear, and even excitement bubble up and make their way to surface. When young, a parent’s lifestyle is difficult to visualize. The other options may also seem overwhelming. What thirsts the most is the support, encouragement, and hope that only those closest can provide. Many young women are terrified to tell their parents about an unwanted pregnancy. Here are some things parents need to know before they can break the news:
- I Need Your Respect
So many people in society treat unplanned pregnancy with disdain. A teen mother is considered irresponsible, inadequate, and unfortunate. If you talk to me as though I have the dignity to make good decisions, is like coming up for air in an ocean of insecurity. Let me know you trust me enough to decide what is best for my future, as well as my child’s. I am making sacrifices and tough decisions at a young age, and that makes me more grown-up than many of my peers.
- I Need Your Unconditional Love
I feel lonely, ashamed, and guilty enough as it is. Blaming or becoming angry will only plunge me deeper into an ocean of isolation. Affirming my unique gifts and capabilities will remind me that I can have a wonderful life, even with an unexpected outcome. Reminding me of the resources, paths, and possibilities available will help me move forward with strength and resolve. It is a life-changing experience that can make me more courageous and compassionate.
- I Need You to Trust Me
Remembering doctor’s appointments, vitamins, or counseling sessions are now my responsibility, and good practice as I become an adult with employment, relationships, and other obligations in the future. Trying to hold my hand and treat me as though I am immature will only make me feel helpless. Affirm my self-respect by allowing me to schedule my own life.
- I Need You to Know That I Will Need Others
You may be some of the best people in the world, but you are still my parents, and I am still a young woman with an unwanted pregnancy. Resources such as a support group, counselor, close friends, books, and podcasts will be invaluable to help me keep my situation in perspective and growing personally through it. Speaking to others who have been in the same boat and have thrived through life, will give me peace and hope that I cannot get from you. There is always good lessons in every circumstance, and I do not want to waste my learning by missing valuable lessons or the people I can help.
- My Life Is Not Over
I can still take classes, chase my dreams, become a leader, and carve out a unique path in the world. With hard work and planning, my pregnancy can become a chapter in my life that I look back on with forgiveness and appreciation. I am still the same girl you raised, and I am still capable of a life of love, fulfillment, and joy.